Beautiful and Mysterious

Brad's heart was a wreck. The previous evening he had met a girl he could only describe as perfect. And she had seemed interested between their drinks and dancing. Yet when the party drew to a close, she simply smiled when he asked for a telephone number or email address and told him to look her up. But as best he could tell from a cursory search of the Internet, she was entirely off the grid as well. What was a man to do? Hunt through the city of Beijing door-by-door in search of a single girl?

Our Nearsighted Colleague

Need to express surprise or issue forceful denials? These are two things we find ourselves doing with alarming regularity when escorting a certain nearsighted colleague of ours around Beijing. But while this lesson is inspired by real life, it's fairly easy and is crammed full of useful expressions for anyone starting to learn Chinese. So if you're just starting to use Popup Chinese, listen in and let us know what you think.

A Simple Transaction

The Chinese teaching establishment had cornered us in a bar at Houhai, and was telling us it couldn't be done over shots of tequila. "Who can teach coverbs to absolute beginners," they scoffed. "You want to start with a lesson on drinking tea." The head of the Confucius Institute was nearly falling off his chair, but still chipped in something about the Great Wall. It was less a suggestion than something more forceful. "Play up the culture and make China look good, you know?"

And so we nodded and finished our drinks before heading home. "And down the hatches," Brendan said heading into the studio. "If we're going out in a blaze of glory, at least it'll be a blaze of linguistic glory that illustrates the topic-oriented nature of the Chinese language when it comes to giving instructions." The rest of us nodded. The world could drink tea on its own time. In our corner of the Internet, there was an urgent need for more podcasts about coverbs and topic-oriented sentences. The Great Wall could wait.

Handling the Cops

While everyone starts with the what-a-lovely-uniform-you-have-officer, we find that cheerful nodding gets harder to stomach once you've been fined once too often for miscellaneous visa paperwork, or after friends or family have been dragged to local precincts to answer for their non-existing connections with international Zionist conspiracies that may or may not threaten the Chinese salt supply. Which is not to say that we're bitter. But there's a point where the entire security theater starts feeling old.

So while we can't honestly recommend this way of dealing with the cops, if they happen to drop by on an early Saturday morning when you're still in bed nursing a hangover, there's absolutely nothing wrong with putting that pillow over your head and going back to sleep. If they think it's important they'll come back, and probably in about 24 hours with someone louder.

Ordering Pizza

If you ask most foreigners for random trivia about Tianjin, they'll probably mention the foreign concessions, or Herbert Hoover fighting in the streets during the Boxer Rebellion, or the pivotal role the city played in the student protests during the May Fourth Movement. What you won't hear is anyone rave about the pizza....

So let's note that if you've stumbled into Tianjin and are looking for a nice place to have lunch, this lesson is going to be totally useless to you unless you've "gone native" and have a thing for fruit and pak-choi smothered in a loving serving of ketchup and served up on toast. We give the city full points for trying, but you should probably hold off on practicing this vocab until you're in either Beijing or Shanghai, where it will come in really useful.

Memories of Echo's Childhood

The consensus among Echo's peers was that grade one was the worst for everyone involved: the students, the teachers and the janitorial staff. So while a lot of people romanticize the Chinese education system, this lesson is our way of encouraging everyone to loosen up a bit. Because when you have to go....

Learning Chinese? Although we've been producing Chinese lessons for over two years now, it came as a shock when we realized we hadn't actually done a lesson on common classroom words and phrases. The language that you'll hear and use in the classroom starting from your first class. Which is the reason for this podcast. If you're starting to learn Chinese in a traditional classroom, take a listen and pick up some critical vocabulary you can use to make yourself understood to the teacher, not to mention demand periodic access to restroom facilities.

Are You Sick?

We hate to be the bearers of bad news and all, but if you're coming to China for the long-term you are pretty much guaranteed to get seriously ill. And we mean ill in the call-the-doctor-to-defibrillate-my-lungs sense of the word. At least until your immune system starts taking this country seriously, life in China will be a lot like that time you tended bar at that sangria party in college, only without the wine and fruit juice.

Learning Chinese? If you're an absolute beginner to mandarin, join Echo and David for a Chinese lesson that covers some critical basics of the language. Start listening now and before ten minutes are up you'll know how to ask and answer questions in Chinese, and be an expert at shunning friends and relatives who show the slightest signs of potentially contagious infection.

Memories of Changsha

This dialogue reminds us of our brief vacation in Changsha several years ago, when a few us of shared a bus with every single other inhabitant in the city. We're not sure what the occasion was, but it got so crowded the conductor basically gave up on collecting fares, while the rest of us gave up on our hopes of ever getting off the bus. The incident ended when the vehicle broke down in a traffic jam, giving us a much greater appreciation for the Beijing metro.

Learning Chinese? Our Absolute Beginner lessons are designed for people with no previous experience in the language. If you've already got some Chinese under your belt and want to move a bit faster, visit our lesson archives and explore our lessons at the elementary, intermediate and advanced levels.

A Guide to Supportive Parenting

Children need to be nurtured and loved. So be sure to talk to them and ask questions. Show genuine concern and engagement for best results: how was your day; have you been having troubles at school lately; is there anything we should talk about? While this might seem strange behavior at first, in time you will grow accustomed to this sort of conversation and may even be able to engage with your children while mentally occupied elsewhere.

While we usually avoid talking about grammar at the absolute beginner level, sometimes there is a dialogue that demands it. This podcast is one of them. It may be a bit tough if you're totally new to Chinese, but it covers a key point that you'll use all the time. So take a listen. And if you have any questions, contact us anytime either via email, or by leaving a comment in our discussion section below.

The Mysterious Woman

The Cold War that had been simmering between our staff for months finally came to a head as Gail put down the phone. "Our Chinese lessons aren't easy enough," she leveled an icy glare at Brendan, who slipped his copy of "Quotations from Mencius" into his knapsack in furtive response. "We need a Chinese lesson that is so dead simple," she continued, "that even someone who can't even find China on a map can learn some of the basics of the Chinese language."

And that's how all the fun ended here at Popup Chinese, at least for this lesson. This week we've followed the advice of our "student-friendly" teacher Gail, which means our popular fun-with-Tang-Dynasty-etymology and how-did-the-Manchu-say-that podcast segments are gone, replaced with a highly-repetitive beginner lesson that will teach how you to ask who people are, and learn to understand the answers. This is a very simple lesson for anyone just starting to learn mandarin and looking for an easy way to fluency. So enjoy it while you can. The etymology can wait for another few days.

Just this one....

On entering the Chinese bazaar, Jake had been intent on purchasing a t-shirt, or perhaps a long-sleeved shirt. He had wanted something adorned with Chinese characters to commemorate his trip. Which raised the question of how exactly he had ended up in this state: arms stretched full of imitation Prada bags, Timberland jackets and pashmina shawls and his wallet considerably lighter than when he left the hotel.

Suffice it to say that learning how to say no is an important skill in China. There are a few ways of accomplishing this though, and in today's Chinese lesson we cover one of the less obvious. Instead of just coming right out with a refusal, we teach you to emphasize only the item you want. "It's this one," you'll say, "exactly this one." This is a polite way to control the conversation while making sure you're understood. And it can come in especially useful when you're shopping. Good luck!

What Time Is It?

There are two kinds of people for whom this lesson is overkill: those of you who have watches you check regularly, and those of you who are relatively punctual by nature. For the rest of us, it's useful to be able to find out what time it is in China. And so in this lesson we focus on learning how to ask this question in Chinese. We'll leave perfecting the look of stunned amazement you'll offer on hearing you're late up to you.

Want more? In addition to learning how to ask what time it is, this Chinese podcast also covers a few simple numbers so that you can understand the answer you get. We also touch briefly on why the past tense is not always the past tense.

Relationship with a Supermodel

Henry couldn't pinpoint it at all. His girlfriend was the most amazing woman he had ever known. She was beautiful and sexy and stunningly smart - much smarter than him he realized subconsciously. Yet while his feelings were clearly reciprocated by the way she looked at him, there was also something about her gaze that stirred up a feeling of deep unease. But what could be the problem?

Are you just starting to learn Chinese? In this lesson for absolute beginners to the Chinese language, join us as we share some tips for complimenting the guy or girl of your dreams. In addition to being useful for telling someone else how great you think they are, you can also use these tricks to tell them how great you are in return. Because if you're going to be dating a male or female supermodel, there's nothing wrong with a little self-promotion every now and then.

Inside the Actors' Studio

To be fair, Zhang Yimou's script for the sequel to House of Flying Daggers was simple enough: following Xiao Mei's near fatal stabbing at the climax of the first film, the beautiful dancer is nursed back to health by a handsome Chinese doctor with whom she then falls in love. Their story of romance and traditional Chinese medicine is told in flashback form by their son, who calls home at the end of the film in a touching family reunion.

That said, it went without saying that the entire emotional payoff of the film rested on the delivery of that final telephone call. And while most directors might have sloughed it off given the grueling production schedule, Zhang Yimou wasn't considered the best director in China for nothing! Which was why the fearsome perfectionist had forced his cast to practice their delivery over and over again until even he was satisfied it marked the perfect conclusion to an otherwise perfect film.

Want money?

Everyone may be hustling for a little extra cash these days, but our lesson today goes out especially to all you poor souls in Shanghai who have to run a gauntlet of professional beggars every time you step outside. Having lived it ourselves, we know this isn't a pleasant experience, and it's especially disheartening since it can desensitize you to helping people who are really down and out with nowhere to turn. With that in mind, and since this dialogue is also a bit mean-spirited, let's offset it with a practical tip on how to act charitably in China.

There are a lot of stores that will give you small change, but very few places you can really spend it. So if you're in the mood to be charitable, why not take advantage of this. Keep your small change in a separate pocket from your wallet and use this as a reserve for casual giving. You'll be surprised at how much accumulates over time, and having a separate stash for those who really need help will put you in more of a mood to give when the circumstances call for it.

Who is Bradley Cooper

Bradley Cooper's legs stretched out happily in his limousine. His lower limbs knew now that the actor's face had monopolized his public image for too long: back home it was impossible for them to even drop by Dolce or Ortolan without his smile drawing in at least one admiring fan. But in China things were different. Where else could a pair of legs get this sort of attention without even speaking the local language?

Losing Touch with Reality

Another lesson on Inception? As Gail reported the conversation later, the user's voice had been painfully brusque. But after a week of shielding the rest of Popup Chinese from its increasingly estranged userbase, even she was getting weary of the role of go-between. So when the call ended she turned to the rest of the office with a groan. "We just had another user calling to complain about all these Inception lessons!"

Her concerns drifted into the aether. "Don't worry about those damn philistines," David replied from deep within our new office theater, where he was testing the surround sound with a freshly-burned copy of you-know-what. Echo and Brendan, who were putting the final touches on an independent translation of the script, murmured in agreement. "Those bastards would probably prefer a week-long Adam Sandler retrospective," Brendan added. "Screw 'em."

Deflecting Questions in Chinese

Ever been asked a question you didn't feel like answering because of indifference to the plight of your fellow man? In this Chinese lesson for Absolute Beginners, we focus on the art of deflecting questions. As anyone who has lived or worked in China knows, this is a critical skill for maintaining your sanity here. We're sure you'll be able to use this right away.

Since we've been getting a lot of new people to the site lately, it is probably worth mentioning that our goal with the Absolute Beginner level is making each lesson accessible to people without any background in mandarin, Chinese. This lesson is a bit more difficult than most at this level though, so if you're a total beginner, we recommend clicking through to our text page to read our annotated transcript while listening to our dialogue and podcast.

Death by Skittles

If those of us at Popup Chinese had to amend the lyrics to My Favorite Things -- say as part of a secretive musical project underway here in Bejiing -- you can bet that the first thing to go would be that couplet about "crisp apple streudels" and "schnitzel with noodles". And what would we include in their stead? Only the most lethal Western confectionary ever marketed to small children without a second thought.

New to learning mandarin? This is a podcast lesson designed for Absolute Beginners to the Chinese language. In it, we'll teach you how to ask for various sorts of Diabetes-inducing treats by name. And if you're a more advanced learner? We have a host of more difficult materials set for release later this week. In the meantime, look through our lesson archive and find something at your level.

Encounter with an Old Flame

Let no-one to the marriage of true minds admit impediments, the saying went. And to this the conventional wisdom of her class added Steven Glass, serial paramour and destroyer of every relationship he had ever touched. Ten years later, touring campus with her new husband, Maria shuddered to think she was the only one of his former flames to actually move on and marry someone else!

New to Popup Chinese? This podcast is designed for total beginners to the Chinese language. Even if you don't know any mandarin, by the end of this Chinese lesson you'll be comfortable asking strangers who they are, chit-chatting about your monolingual friends, and maybe even sharing a few intimate moments. Enjoy!

The Lost Generation

We may be producing Chinese lessons, but we like to think of ourselves as inspired in our mission by great literature. So hats off to you Hemingway. As in your masterpiece The Sun Also Rises, our dialogue for today leaves it deliberately unclear whether an important character is simply having a bad day, or is in fact a member of the walking undead.

We encourage you to think this question through as you listen to our Chinese podcast. And let us know what you decide. We've enabled our speaking practice hotline for this lesson, so if you're a premium subscriber, give us a call at the number listed on this lesson's text page and introduce yourself. Our teachers will get back to you in a day or so with mostly encouraging and constructive feedback, unless you happen to get Xiao Zhang, who is unrepentantly surly before noon.

The Insincere Apology

"I don't know if this is the most horrific lesson we've produced," Brendan said coming out of the studio, "but it has to be close." And so we feel torn. On the one hand, this lesson is pretty much ideal for anyone new to mandarin. Our dialogue and vocabulary are practical without being boring, and they teach one of the most useful things anyone new to China needs to know: the art of the insincere apology.

That said, this lesson may be a bit too intense for a getting-to-know-you session. Or perhaps the word is traumatic. It's a bit like taking a first date to Apocalypse Now, then going home to watch the ending again on DVD. In slow motion. So we're torn, but that still won't stop us from publishing it. If you're a newcomer to the Chinese language, check out this lesson and let us know what you think. And if you have any questions or comments, feel free to write Echo anytime at echo@popupchinese.com.

The Industrial Accident

You wouldn't believe the number of times we've heard these complaints from newcomers. "I was just passing through Yangshuo," the victim usually starts, staring forlornly at the massive cast encasing their lower torso. "Who'd have thought there would be a freak industrial accident within minutes of my arrival?" And to be fair, for travellers with limited experience in southern China, the scenario does sound seductively implausible.

Statistics do not lie though, and they tell us that you'll need this podcast sooner rather than later. Which is why we're happy to offer this safety-first lesson in Chinese that will teach you how to identify wounded limbs to would-be rescuers. Leaving aside any discussion of China's industrial safety record, we think you'll find this useful language even if you're never caught in a collapsing steel mill or exploding chemical plant. Because at the very least, learning to say what hurts and where it hurts will save you from embarrassing pantomime the next time you need to see a doctor in China.

The Passive-Aggressive Masseuse

The Chinese massage had started innocently enough, with the standard allotment of questions on age, nationality and marital status. But then almost imperceptibly it began to go downhill. First came the bruising kidney rub, and then what could only be called hyper-aggressive cupping. The masseuse was never overtly offensive, being almost professional to a fault, but she also never missed a pressure point.

On a separate note, our apologies if the last few days have been a bit light on podcasts. We've just moved into our new headquarters at Popup Towers and things have been a bit chaotic shuffling furniture back and forth. We're back on a regular production schedule now and will have some more advanced materials coming out later this week. In the meantime, we hope you enjoy this one.

The Internet, never heard of it....

We were surprised when 9527 came out with this, especially since she's studying to be a programmer. But given the maze of Chinese Internet businesses with strange three-character names, it's not all surprising that - sooner or later - someone had to make this mistake. Just be glad this foot-in-mouth moment happened to a native speaker and not you....

If you're a total beginner to Chinese, you'll find this lesson a bit on the hard side compared to most of our Absolute Beginner materials. So if you're new to Popup Chinese and easily intimidated, try starting with an easier lesson like this one. If you feel courageous though, remember that we have line-by-line recordings of all of the lines in this dialogue on our lesson text page, so you can listen to them one-by-one and practice until you get perfect. And for feedback on your spoken Chinese? We've enabled our Speaking Practice hotline for this lesson. Grab your PIN from the text page and give us a call for some individual Chinese learning love. We're looking forward to hearing from you.

China's Harmonious Society

There's no reason not to tell people what you think. Unless they're holding a weapon or have a crazy look in their eyes like the girl we met last week who insisted on asking us for our thoughts on the territorial integrity of the motherland before promising to swim across the Taiwanese straits with a knife in her teeth to ensure it before we even opened our mouth to answer. "So you like swimming," we tried to redirect the conversation. "What other hobbies do you have?"

Some topics are too sensitive for other podcasts. But not Popup Chinese, which is why in today's lesson we stare down the rabid dog of media censorship and use it as an excuse to talk about our feelings. Our goal here is teaching you how to respond the next time someone puts you in a tough situation. And our suggestion? Tell them how you feel on pretty much every other subject under the sun until they get the point. We've tried this and can confirm that it actually works. And it doesn't take much Chinese to pull off either! Listen in and you'll be ready in no time.

Stop Playing with My Phone

There are moments of frustration in learning Chinese. Like the time you were crossing customs and the border agent asked for your Nexus One and refused to give it back. Or to be fair, he said he was looking for one and a more accurate description might be "played with it for about five minutes," all to the point you would have suspected industrial espionage if three of those minutes weren't spent on Snake.

Our own bad experiences aside, our lesson today is designed for all of you who have yet to learn a single word of Chinese. The is one of the easiest lessons you'll find on Popup Chinese. In it, we introduce a very simple dialogue that will have you saying "this one" and "that one" and then asking others to give you things. Whether you're demanding electronics back from overzealous state employees, picking food off a menu or sourcing high-end commodity electronics from bazaars in Shenzhen, this is Chinese you can use right away. So dig in!

Getting Married in China

Getting married in China? We heard about your weekend trip to Hainan and thought it sounded too good to be true. So we're sure it's a done deal in her mind. All you need to do now is just sum up the courage and pop the question. And make sure you do it in mandarin: it's sweeter that way.

What's that? You don't know how to propose in Chinese? If you're planning on getting married in China, this is the perfect lesson for you then. Join Echo and Brendan in this podcast as we walk through the steps needed to sweep your sweetheart off her feet. And if you're not at the marrying stage yet don't worry. We also coerced Echo into sharing some practical tips on impressing the girl of your dreams. Put these tricks into action and with a bit of luck, you'll find yourself on the receiving end of a proposal.

The German Engineer

At Popup Chinese we're not afraid of revelling in stereotypes, which is why we have a really easy Absolute Beginner lesson today in which we'll teach you the flawless mandarin for claiming you're a German engineer. Consider this your first step towards getting a massive construction contract from the Chinese government.

We're aware that you may not actually be a German engineer. Some of you might not even be German. Regardless, the Chinese you'll learn in this lesson is basic Chinese you can use to break the ice and start a conversation with anyone. And we guarantee you'll hear these questions time and time again as well. So it's best to have an answer ready, even if that answer is factually wrong and you're really a lawyer from Ohio.

Office Pleasantries

The infamously reclusive Teddy Wang, tycoon of the Orient and Time Magazine's "China Entrepreneur" five years running, had fallen into seclusion. From his estate on one of the outlying Hong Kong islands, the dashing young businessman had taken to conducting business exclusively through his timid assistant Roger, a meekrat of a man who spent his days shuffling papers for the reclusive industrial magnate. And yet despite their mutual dependence no-one had ever seen the two of them together at the same time....

Join us in today's Chinese lesson as we cover a few useful phrases and pleasantries you can use right away in business meetings. Even if you can't conduct a whole meeting in Chinese (yet), once you're done with this lesson you'll know how to give face to your Chinese guest by inviting them to come in and sit down. We've also enabled our Speaking Practice hotline for this lesson, so if you're a premium subscriber don't forget to give us a call and get one-on-one feedback on your pronunciation.

Who Stole My Subtitles

This is not a lesson about the disappointment we felt on buying a copy of The Matrix Reloaded at our local DVD store back in 2003 only to end up watching a pirated copy of Johnny Mnemonic (the dolphin scene was especially excruciating the second time around). But it's pretty close. Because sometimes you'll find a good movie, only to find it completely unwatchable because the subtitles are all in Russian.

So our Chinese lesson for today is about living with disappointment, but only in part. It's also about learning different ways to ask simple questions, so if you're sick of ending every question with the sound "ma", you're going to love what we do today. So go ahead and make some popcorn and hit play. You'll be an elementary student in no-time, and will have some popcorn in the meanwhile. Try doing that in a physical classroom.

The Chinese Alphabet Song

"But the Chinese language doesn't have an alphabet," the perspicacious listener might ask, "why on earth does China need an alphabet song?" Which is a good question, and one we studiously avoided asking ourselves after forcing our voice actors to record the song behind this lesson.

You see... while Chinese may not exactly have a traditional western alphabet, we wanted to give you the next best thing: a musical extravaganza guaranteed to help you remember Chinese numbers for years to come. And for your extra pleasure, we're enabling our speaking practice hotline for this lesson as well. If you're a premium subscriber, give us a call on our telephone hotline and give us your own attempt to put these numbers to music. As you'll hear, you can't do much worse than our native Chinese speakers.

Mamma Mia

"Is Echo really sleeping?" Apple had to raise her voice to overpower the sound of Pierce Brosnan's distant crooning. A moment later as the chorus to Super Trouper kicked in, she tossed down her pen and turned to face the rest of us. "Honestly," she said in her best no-nonsense voice, "I'm finding it hard to concentrate with all of this Greek music...."

The constant presence in our Popup Chinese headquarters these last few weeks has been the soundtrack to Mamma Mia. After stumbling across the Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan version of the famous ABBA musical, Echo has had the music on constantly. And the musical has found its way into everything we've done, including today's lesson for Absolute Beginners. So join us as we share an effective strategy for avoiding work in China. Use this whenever you need to take the afternoon off to catch a broadway show.

It Happened Over Lunch

There are plenty of Chinese textbooks that claim to teach basic Chinese but are in fact utterly useless in everyday situations like the one we found ourselves in about a month ago, when our new colleague Nicole arrived back from lunch slightly the worse for the wear....

Nicole had just crossed the threshold and was bending over to take off her shoes when Echo, having successfully maneuvered herself behind the coffee table, finally broke the ice. "Did you have a good lunch," she asked? "Oh lunch," Nicole faltered. "I almost forgot all about that in the excitement...."

The Electrical Outlet

Trips to Hong Kong, Singapore and across the mainland are a mainstay of life for most foreign professionals in Asia. Couple that with the fact that many of the best jobs for mandarin-speaking expats are with smaller and mid-sized firms, and you've got a recipe for the need to work on the go. Say goodbye to life in a cubicle and hello to rushing to find a power outlet in rural Guangxi in order to make your conference call on Skype.

If you do business in Asia but are just learning to speak Chinese, join us in this lesson as we teach you how to ask for an electrical outlet for your laptop or phone. In addition to our regular Chinese podcast, we've also enabled our Speaking Practice hotline for today's lesson. If you're a premium subscriber, grab your personal ID number on our text page along with our telephone hotline number. Give us a call and practice reading the dialogue and vocabulary to us (add your own commentary, of course) and we'll get back to you in a day with personal feedback on how you sound.

A Clean Well-Lighted Place

As Alex struggled to finish his thesis in the only Internet cafe still open in this part of Wuhan, he quietly prayed the air would clear as the evening wore on and the local chain-smoking Counterstrike guild closed shop for the night. By one o'clock, however, the omnipresent haze of smoke had settled into more-or-less permanent stormclouds over a growing mass of players who if anything were more animated than ever before.

It took another hour for the full horrific truth to hit Alex. Staggering to the service counter to stock up on caffeine, he noticed a small sign perched on the desk advertising a significant discount for overnight users. His non-stop smoking, terrorist-killing and expletive-shouting neighbors were here for the long-haul. And not only would they be playing through his morning deadline, they would be paying significantly less for the privilege too.

The Secret Lives of Celebrities

It's been a while since we've released a lesson for absolute beginners, but we're back in the saddle today with a sequel of sorts to our earlier podcast on how not to be confused for a Scientologist during your weekend trip to Xi'an. So if you've ever fancied yourself more a Brad Pitt (or Angelina Jolie) take a listen as we teach you how to introduce yourself to the locals in style. Maybe you'll get a free lunch out of it.

In addition to sharing some useful language for passing yourself off as a celebrity in China, in this lesson we also introduce a dead-easy sentence pattern you can use to indulge in unsubstantiated celebrity gossip or tell others how you feel. So if you're an absolute beginner give this lesson a listen. And if your Chinese is more advanced, swing by our lessons archive and look for something a bit more suited to your level of difficulty.

Feel My Total Indifference

So, you've woken up at some ungodly hour in the morning to start hauling yourself out of bed when a minor epiphany strikes. Why get out of bed at all? Isn't there something better you can do with your day than this car trip to Tongzhou. And whose crazy idea was this anyway? How about just sleeping in past noon? Now there's a capital idea. And maybe in a few hours you could even head downstairs and get some breakfast, or maybe watch a movie. Or maybe just stay in bed all afternoon.

At Popup Chinese we're keenly aware of the practical reality of life in China: which is why we're happy to bring you today's lesson on what to do on those days you feel totally and utterly apathetic. If you've ever felt that cheerfulness is not exactly your strong point, this is the lesson for you. So join us today for an Absolute Beginner lesson that will let you tell them what you really think. Because sleep calls.

Where are you from?

If you've ever been in a Chinese taxi, you've been asked this question, even if you didn't understand it at the time. In fact, being asked where one is from is such a common question we've decided to devote an entire lesson just to it. So join us in this beginner lesson and before long you'll be inventing new and exciting background stories each time you take a trip across town. Yes sir, I am a nuclear scientist from Kazakhstan.

Note: it's been a while since we've had a dedicated speaking practice lesson, so we've enabled our voice recording service for this lesson. If you're a premium subscriber click through to our text page and grab our telephone hotline and your personal PIN number. Call us up and leave us a message in Chinese when prompted: record yourself either practicing the dialogue or speaking extemporaneously using this vocabulary or telling us a story. Our teachers will get back to you in a day or two with personal feedback on how you're doing.

On Avoiding the Plague

"Don't worry about me," the voice on the phone hoarsely whispered after its wave of violent coughing finally subsided. "I'll be down in an hour so we can keep working on that report."

Join us in our Absolute Beginner lesson for today as we learn a polite way of telling others to keep themselves and their infections out of your working space. There is a lot of simple but useful mandarin in this podcast. In addition to introducing a number of common adjectives you can use to express your fatigue and frustration, we also give you a simple sentence pattern you can use whenever you're feeling under the weather yourself.

What sign are you?

Ever wonder what a Chinese chicken sounds like, or what to do when someone tells you they are one? In today's lesson Brendan, David and Echo take to the studio and talk about Chinese horoscopes. You may not believe in the Chinese zodiac, but you'll need to know how it works if you're ever going to navigate the animal barnyard that is the dating scene in China. If only because when you meet someone special here you can be sure they're going to be thinking about it.

This podcast is part language lesson and part simple proof of an impressive disconnect between urban China and the natural world. If you don't know your own sign, we've posted more information on the Chinese zodiac in the comments section below. Feel free to write us at echo@popupchinese.com with any questions about your own star sign. We admit to being suckers for romantic gossip.

Pinyin Practice - Adventures with Umlaut

Curious why the pinyin for some characters is written with an umlaut which vanishes in similar-sounding words? Is there really a difference in the way we should pronounce these sounds? The answer to these questions and more is revealed in our pinyin practice lesson for today, which will take you on a whirlwind tour through a maze of similar sounding words.

For extra feedback, we've enabled our recording hotline for this lesson to give you an opportunity to get personal feedback on your pronunciation. If you're a premium subscriber call us using the custom PIN number that you'll find on this lesson's text page. Practice reading our sample sentences for this lesson and one of our teachers will get back to you shortly with one-on-one feedback on your pronunciation. And doubtless compliments too.

Yes, I'm a Student

We haven't come out with a lesson for absolute beginners in a while, partially because whenever we start teaching something simple Brendan segues into a rambling discourse on character etymology and before we know it we've produced another graduate seminar about regional dialects in the Song dynasty. So today we slowed him down with an intentionally simple and very straightforward dialogue. This one teaches how to ask basic questions and tell others a bit about yourself.

In fact, those of you without a graduate degree in linguistics will be pleased to hear that we even managed to restrain Brendan from using the word "copula" in this podcast. This was accomplished somewhat by the dialogue itself, but mostly by Echo, who threatened the use of physical force unless Brendan used "actual English real people understand." So if you're totally new to mandarin and afraid of our other lessons, fire up your iPod and check out this one, which makes the basics about as easy as they can get.

How about Korean Food

It happens to the best of us. Even if your home or office is strategically located in the heart of Sichuan street, surrounded by a hundred different Chinese restaurants with upwards of a hundred different dishes each, there will come a point when your stomach rebels and your heart starts pining for simpler fare. Or maybe you'd kill for Chinese food but the only restaurant that delivers is the Korean one down the street.

Almost miraculously, this lesson is useful in either situation. If you're totally new to mandarin, join us as we introduce the four tones, cover some basic words and phrases you can start using right away, and learn how to steer your fellow diners towards the kind of food you want to eat.

Where does it hurt?

This lesson takes place in a doctor's office, and while we hope you won't have too many encounters with the Chinese medical system, it is one of the many places the words and phrases we teach in this podcast will come in useful. So if you're new to learning the Chinese language, put on your earphones and get listening. By the time this podcast is over, you'll know enough mandarin to ask how others are doing and be expert at pointing and complaining whenever someone else returns the courtesy.

You found what in the fridge?

Johns Hopkins University recently published a study that followed ten thousand subjects over a ten year period, and closely monitored the eating habits of its participants. Among the results? The experiment showed conclusively that those who dispose of leftover Chinese take-out within the week have longer lifespans, whiter teeth and fuller hair. The remainder suffered from chronic headaches, extreme sensitivity to sunlight and a predisposition to Kenny G's "Going Home".

Even in the absence of rigorous scientific proof, at Popup Chinese we believe the anecdotal evidence is compelling enough. When you have a hankering for kung-pao chicken at four in the morning avoid the leftovers and order in fresh. Your body will thank you.

I'm Hungry, You Fools!

Our biological clock is a natural wonder. It tells us when to sleep, when to wake, and of course when to eat. So when the alarms start sounding and the hunger pangs strike, there's only one prudent course of action: start complaining as loudly as possible in the hope that someone will appear with food. It worked when you were a kid, right?

If you are totally new to learning Chinese you are in the right place. Join us in this podcast and we'll teach you all the mandarin you'll ever need to know in order to make uncompromising demands on those around you. In this lesson we will teach you six easy adjectives and two simple verbs that will help you amaze others with your fluency, and might also get you fed in the process.

Pinyin Practice - Xi

Our pinyin practice lesson for today focuses on one of the more challenging sounds in the Chinese language. And the reason English speakers have difficulty with it is fairly simple: there is no good English equivalent. Not that we could think of, at least.

In an effort to help you hunt down this sound and overpower it though, in this podcast we review this sound in all of its strange tonal glory. We first go over the sound in all four tones, and then practice putting it into words and then sample sentences. If you made improving your pronunciation a part of your New Years resolutions way back in January, we think this will come in useful. Just speak along with Echo and disregard the crazy looks your coworkers give you: they're just jealous you're speaking Chinese.

On a closing note, we've enabled our recording hotline for this lesson, so if you're a premium subscriber you're invited to call us using the custom PIN number that you'll find on this lesson's text page. Practice recording our words and sample sentences back for us and we'll have one of our teachers listen to it and get back to you with one-on-one feedback about your pronunciation.

The Worst Joke in China

One of the advantages we've found to operating out of Beijing is our ability to engage in the sort of scientific research frowned upon in much of the civilized world. Far from the oversight of university ethics committees, we carve our own way through pressing moral dilemmas, such as whether to unleash the results of our research into what is unquestionably the worst joke in all China.

When we tested this on our crew in Beijing, the results were pretty bad. "That's the worst joke I've ever heard," Echo groaned before losing consciousness. Apple was knocked to the floor and later hospitalized with minor intestinal discomfort. So consider yourself warned. This podcast is dangerous. On the other hand, if you're starting to learn mandarin it is exactly the sort of risk you need to run if you want to get fluent. And how bad can a joke be anyway?

Happy Father's Day....

Blithely ignoring the fact it's nowhere near Father's Day, let us address a more pressing question several of you have asked via email: yes, one of our male voice actors goes by the English name Bunny. We did a double-take the first time we heard it too: such is life in China, and you'll just have to get used to it.

Moving on to more practical matters, we think you'll find this lesson fiendishly difficult, since it's probably the most difficult lesson we've released at this level to date. We still think it's worth getting through for a simple reason though: it will teach you how to answer a question with another question, a tremendously useful stonewalling tactic for when you're dealing with the Entry/Exit bureau and have a visa that expired several months ago.

An Unexpected Interruption

If you had known what was going on behind that door, you would never have opened it. We trust you there, but also caught the whole encounter on tape and feel that sharing it really is for the greater good. In addition to helping teach the Chinese word for hello, your awkward performance last week offers a perfect chance to teach the English speaking world a few simple euphemisms for dating that everyone needs to know to avoid having their own foot-in-mouth situations. Thanks for understanding....

The Chinese Diet

We've heard there's a crumbling yellow list posted on the wall of the State Department's China Room warning its newly recruited analysts of signs they may have gone native and should seek professional help. Number six on that list is apparently ordering a second bowl of rice with dinner.

Depending on how long you've been in China, you're probably either shaking your head in disbelief at the mere possibility, or nodding your head in solemn agreement, because sometimes one bowl of rice just isn't enough. Which is why we're pleased to present you with information on the latest Chinese diet craze. In addition to helping keep the pounds off, this minor adjustment to your dining habits will keep you employable by the US government. Listen in for the details.

Drive Safe

You never know who's been in that taxi before, and China is a place where it pays to play it safe. So join us in this podcast as we review a couple of standard precautions you should take before getting into any foreign vehicle. Because you never know when you're going to get hit by a bus. When you're just sitting there. Not moving. At a traffic light.

Life in Hebei

Those of us living in Beijing occasionally hear tales of the strange lands and barbarous customs that exist beyond the third ring road. Visitors to our studios bring whispers and rumors of yet wilder places that stretch off in the lands beyond the fourth. And beyond them? Few have seen the savage mystery of Greater Hebei and returned to tell the tale. We know of only one, and his name is Frank Fradella.

Parking the Car

In this podcast we'll teach you a respectful form of address you can use to refer cab drivers, serving staff and martial arts instructors. We'll also teach you left from right, and share some tips on how to make the best use of your newest language partner (the cab driver). And as icing on the cake, Brendan and Anthony share some of their taxi stories from the wilds of Zhengzhou and Harbin, known collectively in these parts as "the interior".

No More Toilet Paper

More tragic words have never been spoken. Two hours ago you were enjoying the best spicy chicken this side of Chongqing. Now your lunch is having the last laugh. You make eye contact with the man squatting next to you, and notice that his eyes, too, are filled with quiet despair. Listen to our podcast today and learn the magic words we hope you will never have to hear.

Missing Keys

We've all been in this sordid situation. Your date was a wild success and you've come back home for a nightcap. But just as you step to the door you reach into your pocket and find something wrong: it has been picked clean. But by whom? Was it your surly waiter? The child selling roses who snaked after you down the street, pulling at your arm? The shifty group of ragged layabouts who operated that makeshift coat-check outside the restaurant?

Whoever the culprit, it seems you will now be spending the rest of your evening walking around looking for an open locksmith. So fire up your iPod and tune in to this podcast for all the language you'll need to get things fixed. Or at least all the language you'll need to complain about your lost keys to anyone who will listen, locksmith included.

Pinyin Practice: zi

Our podcast for today is our second show in a new series we're launching to teach proper Chinese pronunciation. Our focus today is on a common problem a lot of learners have when they're new to mandarin: differentiating the sound "zi" from its aspirated rival "ci". Today we're going to clear this up once and for all.

And attention listeners: management is fully aware that Brendan's pronunciation of the letter zed in this podcast does not conform to international Canadian phonetic standards. We apologize for this oversight, and wish to assure you we have already commenced mandatory remedial training. Even if the continued references to "zee" (zed) may confuse, we hope you still find this a useful podcast for mastering proper pronunciation in Chinese.

Watership Down

When Hazel returned hours later, he found Fiver, Bigwig and the rest of his lagomorphic comrades shivering in the dew-drenched gulley at meadow's edge. "I've never seen anything quite like it," he finally offered, suddenly aware of exactly how much time had passed since he left to scout out the new warren. "I don't think they're dangerous," he added with a small belch, "although they're not much like the folks back home...."

In our podcast for today Popup Chinese offers yet another take on a Western literary classic. In this case we Sinocize Richard Adams' Watership Down. Listen in if you're curious what life is like for Chinese rabbits, or just want to learn how to use simple adjectives in conversation.

Pinyin Practice: ri

Our podcast for today is the first show in a new series we're launching to teach proper Chinese pronunciation. In these podcasts we will review sounds that many non-native speakers have trouble with, and share some hard-learned tips and tricks on how to make yourself sound more like a native speaker. And our target for this first show is one of the most commonly mispronounced words in the Chinese language.

We've intentionally designed this podcast to be short and tightly focused with maximum word and phrase repetition. If you're new to Chinese, we'd encourage you to be an active participant in the recording, and speak along with Echo and Brendan (you will learn faster!). And, as always, we'd love to have your thoughts and feedback on the new show. If you've got ideas on the new show, why not let Echo know what you think by sending her an email at echo@popupchinese.com?

A Strange Telephone Call

As far as Chinese learning podcasts go, our lesson for today is special even by our admittedly awesome standards for insanely creative and non-boring content. Just be warned that if you ever used China Telecom's PHS service, listening to this might be enough to induce traumatic flashbacks. What's that you say? You don't remember that striking advance in mobile technology? Count yourself lucky.

Happy Birthday

In this podcast we'll teach you how to say happy birthday. That said, this isn't a lesson so much as an excuse to crow about the birthday of our very own superstar podcaster Echo. Later this evening those of us here in Beijing will stagger out and celebrate in true Chinese style with unholy amounts of cake, KTV, liquor and Xinjiang food, not necessarily in that order. We'll also be force-feeding Apple cake as well, since it was her birthday recently too. Happy Birthday!

Buried Under Work

With less than 24 hours before the deadline, Susan drifted in a bubble of lightheaded fatigue as she continued pecking away at her two-hundred page manuscript. She had been working sixteen hour days for the last week and was starting to despair of ever finishing this project, let alone finishing it on time. And her condition must have been obvious, because when she looked up Bryan had materialized over her looking seriously concerned.

In today's podcast, listen to a conversation between Susan and Bryan and learn how to form simple questions in Chinese using adjectives. Are you busy? Are you tired? Then answer these questions. The sentence patterns and vocabulary we teach are core building blocks for mandarin fluency, so listen up, practice our dialogue as it plays along, and you'll be speaking better Chinese in about five minutes.

Ordering Under Pressure

If you've ever been through the gauntlet of ordering dinner in China, you'll know that picking your way through a menu (while avoiding the tripe) can be a challenge at the best of times. What you may not have been expecting is the added pressure of having nearly half the serving staff hover over your shoulder while you decide.

This podcast goes out to all those Chinese learners among us who prefer the sullen and unresponsive service of the average American diner. You can use the words and phrases we'll teach today whenever you want the waitress to leave you alone for a few minutes while you figure out what you want to eat. This is very useful stuff. And when you're done listening, you've got a great excuse to head out for dinner and put it all into practice. Bon appétit!

Taking a Photo

It is our fate at Popup Chinese to be surrounded by beautiful and talented men and women. So it isn't any surprise that our camera gets whipped out on occasion and we all indulge in The Deuce. You want in the picture too? Join us today as we learn the basics of telling left from right and counting to three. Because you're a beautiful person and we're glad to have you around.

Thanks But No Thanks

Our title isn't meant to be cruel, but running the poverty gauntlet gets old fast, which might be why some of the harshest comments we've heard about the homeless have come from Chinese friends and students. Nonetheless, while we recommend ignoring the professional beggars, it's a good habit to keep some change in your pocket and dispense with it liberally when you meet someone in real need. It's also important to keep the pickpockets at bay, so in this podcast we teach you how.

Looking for Apple

Trapped on the roof and under fire from the encroaching Triads, our intrepid hero whips out his Hello Moto and speed dials our leading lady, who guns her Porche faster down the Second Ring Road in answer. "I'll be down in a minute," he says cooly before stepping off the parapet and plunging a few stories in a matter of seconds.

We will be the first to admit that life in Beijing is much like the movies. Except in real life our leading lady is Apple, and she's a bit more difficult to contact than you'd expect. In this podcast, culled from our real-life experience, we'll teach you the basics of telephone etiquette. Or the basics of repeatedly asking for someone until either you or they hang up in frustration.

Point and Eat

We have good news for gourmands. When it comes to ordering food in China, you're on a level playing field with the most famous Sinologists. Want to know how John Fairbank and John DeFrancis ordered beef noodles back in the day, or how Victor Mair gets his chicken and peanuts to this very day?

The secret is that no matter how high-class the restaurant, China is a country where you can still get away with pointing at the menu and grunting. Chinese menus actually encourage this. And while grunting may be frowned upon in some finer establishments, we can replace those with a few choice words and you'll be good to go, charming serving staff throughout the Orient and blending in with the locals. Listen up and learn how.

Where is the Washroom

You can stop holding it in now, because in this lesson we're going to teach you the magical phrase "where is the washroom". Combine this with general agitation and hopping from foot to foot for best effect. And when when it works you can get started learning directions the hard way.

For those of you who are new to Popup Chinese, we encourage you to approach our lessons as bite-sized units you can learn at the pace of one a day: listen to our podcast first and see if you can understand our simple dialogue. When you're done, fire up The Fix to test your memory and speaking skills. Pay special attention to the tones. And in a day or two, review the materials with our customizable PDFs and transcripts. And let us know if you have any questions - we're always here to answer them.

The Numbers

Trust us on this: nothing will kill that prospective career in Chinese finance faster than an inability to count to ten. Gesticulation just isn't what it used to be, and given that mandarin is a language where the numbers for four and ten are almost as easy to mix up as the Beijing Olympic Mascots, we think you've got a recipe for disaster on your hands if you don't have a solid grasp of the fundamentals.

So in this lesson we cover the absolute basics of numbers: how to pronounce them, what tones to use and how to string single digits together to make bigger numbers that sound more impressive. This isn't groundbreaking stuff unless you don't already know it, in which case it is groundbreaking stuff. So listen in and let's put this counting thing behind us.

Beer and Measure Words

Things that melt in this heat include chocolate, small children and your will-to-live. That's why you've collapsed on a sofa at one of the small bars that crowd the waterways behind Jingshan Park. You've just decided you like this neighborhood when your waitress appears wearing an outfit made entirely of plastic. "What would you like," she asks with a genuine smile.

"Whatever you're selling," is the correct answer, but you don't say that because you're not at the Elementary level yet and haven't mastered the art of casual chit-chat. Thankfully, as a faithful listener of our Absolute Beginner lessons here at Popup Chinese, you know enough Chinese to rummage through your vocabulary in search for the measure word for bottle and the noun for beer. These you string together: one + bottle + beer. Instant Chinese sentence.

You actually want about ten bottles of beer. But why rush it. Just keep ordering them one by one. And keep smiling too. You'll be at the Elementary level soon enough, which is when these conversations get a lot more complex and interesting too. So get studying and don't look back.

Ordering the Bill

We know you're serious about a career in China, so let us share a professional secret: fight to pay for the bill. Like going over the top in World War I, the struggle to pay for lunch is a doomed but valorous effort that commands respect and gives you face. So pull out your wallet, shake off the objections of your colleagues and try to flag down that waiter.

This being easier said than done, in this podcast we give you a leg-up by teaching the two magic words you'll need to dazzle the waiter into taking money from your outstretched palm. Combined with the physical act of thrusting funds into his or her hands, this is a surprisingly effective method of resolving the who-gets-to-pay dispute. But sometimes your business partner might be physically restraining you, so it's still critical to get the verbal part down.

What's Your Number?

Our alternate lesson title for today is "how to pickup Chinese girls or guys". So those of you who are single pay attention as our site designer and veteran clubber Baifan delves into the art of the chase with its first step: the fearless, persistent and somewhat oblivious pursuit of the ever-critical telephone number.

We'd say we hope it works out smoothly for you, but who are we kidding? China is to romance as the Hindenburg is to air travel. Once you've got the number you're on your own.

Ordering Take Out

Put down that frying pan and get out of your apartment's absurdly-narrow kitchenette. And don't even think of heading outside in this weather. You are in China and cooking for yourself is more expensive than ordering take-out anyway. You've got the restaurant's phone number right there on that card. All you need to do is overcome your fear of the woman who answers the phone and fends off your ting-bu-dong with shrieks of impatience.

This podcast is like the parable of the man who teaches another man to fish. Except that we're teaching you how to order roast duck. So take a deep breath. Then listen to the podcast. Then pick up the phone and get yourself some cooked bird. When the hunger pangs subside you can put your savings into a Popup Chinese subscription so we have the cash to order some duck ourselves. Hunger is a two-way street.

The Unsuccessful Haggle

If you don't take the routine fleecing attempts personally, haggling in China can be a lot of fun. Not only will bargaining give you a better understanding of how much markup your friends back home are paying for pretty much everything, pressing for a discount will give you plenty of opportunities for language practice with people from all over China.

After covering the must-have keywords of this and that, today's podcast goes on to review Chinese numbers and prices. And if you're new to the entire haggling scene, we close with some quick tips on getting those prices down. Once you see the savings rolling in, you can thank us by purchasing an annual subscription, or picking up an extra pair of socks the next time you're passing through Xiushui: our hutong appears to be eating them.

Working All Night

Whether you're working towards a degree or working professionally, odds are you need to pull the occasional all nighter. We feel your pain, as do about half the taxi drivers in Beijing.

In this lesson, we cover a casual way of asking after someone. How are you feeling? And the best thing about this phrase is that with a slight change it doubles as a useful way of telling others you're not at the top of your game. This is the kind of authentic Chinese that will help you break the ice with strangers. We highly recommend it.

An Unholy Smell

A giant shuddering sound escaped from deep within the bowels of the great industrial machine. In the pin-drop silence that followed, an ominous hiss could be heard far below the iron gangplanks where the night crew plied their trade, feeding a constant stream of waste into the ovens of the thermal plant, the engineering marvel whose energy output fed the ever-hungry city.

"Sulfur leak," bellowed the shift manager, the panic rising in his voice as he dropped his clipboard mid-check. His cry had barely subsided before the general shock gave way to panic, shift workers jostling over each other in a frenzied rush for the ventilation shaft.

The Fourth Tone

What's that plummeting to the ground? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Our confidence? The stock market? No... this time it's the fourth tone, the eldest and most bitter of the four tones in mandarin, Chinese.

If you noticed our earlier lessons on the first three tones you probably saw this coming a mile away. For those who haven't, today we're continuing our series on the four tones with a lesson dedicated exclusively to the fourth tone. If you're trying to get your head around this wonderful tonal language, listen to this podcast for a brief introduction to both the fourth tone as well as some common examples. Then head to the vocabulary section to practice your own pronunciation against our recordings. If you're feeling confident you can then check out our real-world examples which combine today's new vocabulary with words we've learned earlier on. With progressive lessons like this, you'll be fluent in no time.

The Third Tone

Now that we've spent a few days practicing the first two tones it's time we intercede before you give everyone the impression mandarin is spoken in falsetto. Like other languages, mandarin has its dark side too. But before we plummet to the depths for good with our podcast on the fourth tone, we'll take an exploratory jaunt there first. The third tone is just like snorkeling: a brief trip down and then right back up.

As an aside, while we mentioned we wouldn't get into detail on tone sandhi in the podcast, there is a grammar mutiny brewing here in the office so we feel obliged to make at least quick mention of it. The tricky thing about the third tone is that the pronunciation changes depending on context. Specifically, characters in the third tone are usually pronounced in the second tone when they precede other third tone characters. This actually makes it easier to speak and keeps listeners from getting seasick, but is difficult to remember all the time. Our advice is to focus on getting "hello" down properly and using it as a model for the pitch changes in other words and phrases. As a beginning student, you should be aware of this, but don't pull your hair out over it.

The Second Tone

Now that you've mastered the giddy highs of the first tone, it's time to move onto something a bit more challenging: tone number two. Despite the fact that many people maul the second tone (relax, you won't), the basics are pretty simple: just start near the middle of your vocal range and head up until you pass out, glass breaks, or you're mauled by a pack of dogs.

We recommend listening to our podcast first and then heading to the vocabulary page to listen to and practice our new words in isolation. When you're ready to move forward, step into the text section, where we combine our new words with some of the material we learned in our lesson on the first tone, to make a number of sentences you can use right away. Cumulative and progressive lessons? Huzzah!

Thanks for the Tractor....

Today we give you the keys to the Middle Kingdom, in the form of two magical sounds that will amaze and baffle your conversation partners in turn. Used with judicious moderation, this disyllabic incantation will let others know you're doing just fine, and there's no problem whatsoever. Used maliciously, it can buy you enough time for a quick getaway on whatever rustabout Soviet construction equipment happens to be nearby. Not that we're advocating theft. Seriously.

The First Tone

If the tones are giving you trouble, our series explaining them tone-by-tone should be useful. In this crowded podcast Brendan, David, Echo and Bunny start from the absolute basics with tone number one. This is the high and flat tone that establishes the upper range of your pitch, so you'll need to get your voice up there and keep it there (ideally without the reedy warbling).

Don't let the first tone intimidate you. In this podcast we start by introducing some critical everyday words that all use the first tone, and then start packing them into practice sentences. Brendan and David also pass along on some tricks on getting the pronunciation right, gathered over many years at great cost to personal dignity.

Love Triangle

Love is a complex emotion, especially when there are three people involved each of which have a different agenda. In this Absolute Beginner lesson, pulled right out of a soap opera, we teach about the fundamental difference between liking and loving things, so that you don't do anything embarassing the next time you're called on to make an impromptu speech, or ask you a simple question like "do you love me?" Listen in any you'll be ready to answer them either way.

Fun with Tones

You've heard the horror stories. All it takes is a sullen first tone, a half-hearted fourth, or a kowtowing third that isn't quite obsequious enough for the locals to turn on you. And then your innocent little trip to the Pearl Market has morphed into a journey through the Heart of Darkness.

We still think any reasonable language shouldn't make the difference between "buy" and "sell" hinge on pitch alone, especially since everyone gets a bit worked up haggling (honest question: how do the stock markets work?). But since China is unlikely to take our advice on this anytime soon, this podcast will help you slow it down, review the basics and get them right.

You had me at Hello

French may be the language of love, but let's be pragmatic for a moment: very few people actually speak it in China, which leads us to suspect you'll need a better strategy for breaking the ice than exhausting your collection of compliments from college French class. How about striking up the converstion in mandarin instead?

In this lesson we cover the basics of starting a conversation. You'll be using this stuff every day so get it down, keep smiling, and we think you'll be charmed by the warmth of the reaction. Of course, you can keep working on your French too, but we think you'll discover that Chinese has a certain je ne sais quoi of its own. One fifth of the world's population can't be wrong.

This and That

Pointing and grunting getting a bit old? You're in exactly the right place. Join us in this lesson as we learn useful words like this and that (trust us, these never get old). This is some of the most basic and useful Chinese to know, because it's a small step from learning how to ask for something to learning how to order 500,000 of them shipped to Pittsburg at pennies on the dollar.

I am not Tom Cruise

Katie Holmes? Don't know her, but her husband was pretty good in Minority Report. Never a huge fan of Top Gun or Risky Business. But why would I be? Not like I was involved in filming it or almost got a hernia from that scene dancing with the vacuum cleaner. And I swear I've never been to China before, so those weren't my pictures you saw all over that place outside Shanghai. See? I can't even remember the name!

Yeah, so forget about the uncanny resemblance - I'm not a hyper-celebrity and that's the honest truth. Just here to "check out China" and take a break from the "rat race" with my beautiful wife. But yeah, we can take a photo together if you want. Call me John.

Sorry....

When your mother told you a good apology is an art form, she wasn't thinking of the sort of hectic pantomime you have to do when you don't speak the local language. And how do you act out, "sorry about that thing between my dog and your cat" anyway?

So join us as we review one of the most useful phrases for lubricating your way through life in China. The art of the Chinese apology has never been easier to understand.

A Serial Problem

The first murder had seemed accidental, and would have been officially registered a suicide if not for the near imperceptible signs of break-and-enter the forensics team had found at the scene of the crime. And even then the investigation would likely have ended up as boxes of dusty papers orphaned in the police warehouse if not for the astonishing series of events which followed, events which had the local authorities floundering in denial even as the situation escalated dramatically.

Learning Chinese? At the Intermediate level, our Chinese podcasts feature fast, real-life Chinese dialogues spoken at native pace and filled with emotionally rich and complex sentences. If you're just getting started these are probably above your level, but if you're working towards fluency and are looking to get past your textbook, they're the type of materials we think you need. So take a listen and let us know what you think.

The Sleeping Beauty

"The princess goes to sleep and wakes up again," Gail told us, making the fairy tale sound about as pedestrian as Echo's nightly routine. When pressed about this, our faithful podcaster paused, and then added mention of glass slippers and singing furniture, with the caveat that these were not "central to the plot" and may have been "made up by Disney".

Regardless of how well you remember the classics yourself, once you're in China you're in uncharted waters. Which is why we've taken a few liberties ourselves this lesson. So join us for an enjoyable look at what happens when you mix a traditional Western fairy tale with the process-oriented crime-solving prowess of your local Beijing police bureau. We hope our love for the boys in blue shines through in this dialogue filled with danger, intrigue, and the requisite quota of social harmony.

Strange and Unusual Erhuaization

It's one of the most common misconceptions even advanced students have about Chinese: the belief that erhuaization is non-standard and that anyone who says 这儿 (zhèr) instead of 这 (zhè) is somehow speaking the "Beijing dialect". While this opinion rarely survives a run-in with the actual Beijing dialect, it's understandably persistent among people who have not traveled broadly in China. And it's hardly their fault: there are a ton of native speakers who don't know the difference either.

So while we usually put our focus on standard mandarin in our Chinese podcasts, in today's Chinese lesson we take a step back and showcase some examples of more unorthodox erhuaization. These are all commonly used variants you'll start hearing once you're aware of them. And while you might not want to use them yourselves each day, they're good to know - excellent little language bombs you can drop the next time you're at a state banquet and someone asks you how your Chinese is coming along.

A National Crisis

Zhongnanhai's natural beauty was little comfort to Luo Heping, a mid-level cadre whose thoughts for the past month had involved only the disaster playing out before him in slow motion. For despite the ambitious projections in the latest Five Year Plan, all evidence suggested provincial statistics were over-inflated and actual production was stagnant. Which made it likely that soon... very soon... China would hit a breaking point that might threaten the very existence of the state.

Learning Chinese? If you're able to follow most conversations, but still get lost on occasion watching television and listening to the radio then our intermediate podcasts are right for you. At this difficulty level we focus on broadening vocabulary and mastering more advanced grammar structures you won't hear every day. Students looking for easier lessons are encouraged to check out our archives of beginner and elementary Chinese lessons.

Lead Poisoning

Remember that time your assistant plagiarized his report straight off the Internet and then stared at you uncomprehendingly when told this was unprofessional? Then there are the people who interrupt private conversations between you and your friends to ask them if you can understand Chinese (since it sounds like they're speaking to you in Chinese). Or consider the cab drivers we've had who have gotten lost while trying to find Tiananmen Square. Or pretty much the entire population of Shanghai....

After a certain amount of time in China, you'll get inured to people behaving illogically. But if you find yourself wondering whether you're going crazy in the meantime, we're here to report that your sanity is probably still intact. Chances are you're just coming into contact with the consequences of widespread environmental problems. And beyond the language mentioned in this podcast, our best advice for dealing with it is to keep your guard up and don't live on the ground floor....

Buried in the Garden

Before we get to our Chinese lesson for today, let us admit that it differs from its predecessors in one important way. Put simply, in response to the rising cost of bread and air in Beijing, our engineering team has been forced to make minor changes to our recording format which lower expenses while increasing staff efficiency. These changes are subtle and should not be noticeable to most listeners.

With that out of the way, what can be said about this lesson that the word "masterpiece" fails to cover? In addition to a native-level dialogue filled with suspense, this podcast contains exactly the sort of advanced language point that will have native Chinese speakers scrambling over themselves in praise of your eloquence. So listen up for a podcast drenched with sex, murder and one of the only Chinese adverbs you can use to start a sentence....

The Inferno

In no time the interlopers had progressed to the center of the industrial plant. They moved in silence with the precision of a military crew, but as the swirling oil eddied around them, it became clear that the original plan had gone awry. Had they turned a wrong corner, or was their entire adventure an unexpected trap? Whatever the explanation, there was little time to lose....

Our intermediate Chinese lesson for today is a short listening test with ten devilishly difficult questions. If you fancy you've excellent Chinese take a listen and see how you do on our accompanying quiz. It is harder than you think!

Dinner with the Party

"There's something about your familiarity with Marxism that's uncontrollably sexy," she groaned. "The principle that the revolution is led by the vanguard is more Leninist than Marxist," we replied. It may well have been Trotsky, but who was going to drag up such internecine issues when things were going so well? "And the Three Represents," she countered, "do you think it reconciles revolutionary socialism with market-led economic development...."

We haven't done a lesson on obscure Chinese political phrases yet, mostly because they can be a bit hard to drop into conversation. But while you can live without this stuff most of the time, every now and then you'll have dinner with someone important and being familiar with Chinese political rhetoric becomes surprisingly useful. So join Brendan and Gail for a quick Chinese podcast that covers some of the more common terms getting bandied about these days, including the revolutionary contributions of current Fearless Leader Hu.

Pirate Zombie Bank Teller

Let us skip the tale of Pirate Jack's flight from the gallows, noting only that the implausibility of his escape continues to fuel speculation that the world's most feared brigand did indeed die on the hangman's noose that day. And yet how to explain what happened years later: the discovery of the world's most fearsome pirate and scourge of the China seas employed as a common bank teller in the backwaters of the Caribbean....

Learning Chinese? We're willing to admit that our Chinese lessons are sometimes a bit unorthodox. But if you've been plugging away at Chinese for a while, we think you'll find our lack of please-sit-down-and-have-another-cup-of-tea a breath of fresh air. So join us for the greatest pirate story ever told, and write us with suggestions for what comes next at ideas@popupchinese.com.

Harry Potter #8

Our Chinese lesson for today dredges up memories of that time we bought a copy of The Matrix Reloaded from a DVD vendor on the streets of Beijing. "This is absolutely the real thing," he swore up and down, "it came straight from Shenzhen yesterday...." And so we bought it and soon found ourselves watching a handicam-rip of Johnny Mnemonic with a near-incomprehensible Chinese dub. The scene with the talking dolphin was particularly humiliating for all involved.

And while there is unlikely to be another movie as bad as Johnny Mnemonic in the near future, China is in Harry Potter mode again and expectations are high for the final film. Operating under the principle that anything goes in this country, in this podcast we talk a bit about the piracy industry in China, review some Chinese DVD-related vocabulary and share a quick language tip on coded signals you really need to back away from the merchandise.

The Criminal Mastermind

The plan had been executed with military precision. It had taken a mere ten seconds from the first volley of gunfire until the point when the bank customers were under control, huddled on the floor in shock with their hands held over their heads. Another two minutes and the bank vaults were swept clean and the masked men out the door, the entire robbery finished minutes before the police were even aware of it.

Future X-Cops

When the definitive history of Hong Kong science fiction is finally compiled, we believe there will be one man whose films will soar above those of his contemporaries like a robotic policeman on a computer-generated hoverbike. We speak of course of the incomparable Andy Lau, whose masterpiece "Future X-Cops" is hands down the best Hong Kong science fiction film we have seen in the last few months, if not the last year.

While we know that some of you old-timers at Popup Chinese might be dubious about this claim, to you skeptics we have two simple requests: first, prepare for this podcast by getting some popcorn and plunking down to watch the movie trailer we've linked to above; second, keep an open mind throughout this podcast as Echo talks about how delightful Andy Lau made her last birthday and in which a few other points of interest are made for the sake of including some educational content.

The Disease Podcast

We were brainstorming for a catchy title. "Why not call it the disease podcast," Echo suggested walking in the room. And as much of a downer as her suggestion was, it made sense, and brought up an interesting question we are now exploring: just how morbid can we make our Chinese lessons? Is there a limit before we sink into absurdity.

That said, we do consider this a useful Chinese lesson. In addition to covering a ton of medical terminology that you'll probably end up using (but hopefully not having), today's podcast also covers three ways to say "from the looks of it", the last of which is virtually guaranteed to win you an international peace prize if you are caught using it within earshot of the Chinese government. So listen up and let us know what you think. We hope you like it.

Mountaineering

Although Captain Thrift's choice of ascents was unorthodox, there was no denying his skill nor the team's spectacular progress. Decisions that might have seemed rash to a more conservative climber paid off time and time again as his small team pulled itself up the sheer cliffs of Mount Rakaposhi in record time. And yet the frenzied pace of their assault was taking an unmistakable physical and mental toll on the team.

For who could keep up such a blistering pace? At twenty thousand feet, heavily reliant on oxygen tanks and with a near-vertical climb to the summit scheduled for the next morning, Julie and Chad were on the brink of physical collapse, wishing for nothing more than a quick meal and then plunge into the forgiving arms of sleep.

Unleashing the Cougar

The cougar (a.k.a. catamount, panther or mountain lion) is a large, solitary beast found throughout the Americas. Exhibiting the greatest range of any mammal in the Western Hemisphere, the cougar is fiercely independent and an unmatched predator, stalking smaller beasts for pleasure as much as for food.

In our Chinese lesson for today, Echo and Brendan take to the studio with a mission: preventing you from sounding like a confused and distracted high-schooler the next time you want to give someone a compliment. So join us as we cover a number of intermediate adjectives you can call on whenever you want to sound particularly complimentary, or are just tired of calling everything and everyone "good-looking".

Raising a Pirate Crew

Raising a pirate crew in China is harder than you think. Despite the allure of life on the high seas, many Chinese workers now forgo seafaring opportunities that fail to provide unemployment insurance and other social benefits. While many adventurers have thus drifted into more clerical work, there remains a group of the chronically underemployed that are still willing to work long hours for low pay and zero benefits. In our Intermediate Chinese lesson for today, we share tips on how to motivate these souls for a life of adventure. Also... the future aspect.

The Spanish Main

Jack tilted his face upwards to savor the warm rays of the setting sun. For the past year, the most dreaded pirate in all of the Caribbean had struggled to find his way back to this desolate place, a small island reef hidden deep in the Spanish Main. A year had passed since Jack had been forced to bury his plunder here after a pitched sea battle with the Spanish Navy that had decimated his crew and forced him to flee for safety in his fastest corsair.

And his return had been far from easy. Jack had spent months trapped in the summer doldrums, and then months more cut by frigid winter gales as coal supplies fell low and murmurs of mutiny spread through his crew. And yet here he stood at last - vindicated - with only a few feet of sand between him and the greatest cache of pirate gold that ever was and evermore will be.

Upholding Community Standards

At Popup Chinese, we're keenly aware of our responsibility for upholding community standards. And we're animal lovers too. Which is why if you're an intermediate student learning Chinese you can't go wrong by listening to this podcast. In it, we cover some essential vocabulary for extracting things from your pets, along with a more advanced adverb that you can use to add a sense of righteousness to the entire endeavor.

I Wasn't Kidding

Please do not make any assumptions about my attire. I was not invited to China because of my sense of humor. Nor has my general gravitas in any way hindered my selection as model worker by the Furong district government. While it is true that I will tell the odd joke on occasion, such as that ringer about the penguin and the lame anthropod I recounted at the national textile exhibition last year, in general I am not considered a funny man. So it would be best if you take my remarks more seriously next time.

Good Cop, Good Cop

The suspect smirked, John noted, and the old cop bit down hard to suppress the bile rising in his throat. Ever since the precinct had banned his more forceful interrogation techniques, it had been getting progressively harder for him to put scum like this behind bars. Bring them in for questioning and they'd just sit sullenly waiting for their lawyers to spring them out. On most days he kept his anger in check, but there was something about this guy's grin that pushed John to the edge.

Think you're a tough guy? In this Intermediate Chinese podcast, join us as we cover all the Chinese vocabulary and mannerisms you'll need to viciously interrogate friends, partners and relatives. Career opportunities await in law enforcement, racketeering and the mob, so get listening and let us know if you have any questions or comments.

Broadway Musicals in Chinese

Brendan tells the tale of seeing Rent a few years ago when the Tony award-winning musical passed through Beijing. As he recounts it, the cast threw their heart into the production before a respectful but increasingly baffled Chinese audience. While the music was well-received, the problem essentially boiled down to one of translation: under orders to excise any moral degeneracy from the show, the translators had cut any reference to drug use, homosexuality and AIDS from the accompanying subtitles.

Considering the political hurdles to bringing rock opera to China, consider this latest project of ours less Chinese lesson and more labor of love and cultural education project. This isn't exactly a podcast, and nor is it a listening test, although we've added our regular popup transcript and vocabulary list. But it's a good way to start the week, and if you've seen anything by Andrew Lloyd Weber, we think you'll like it.

Chairman of the Board

Within months of assuming control of the company, the new chairman of Hunan Telecom replaced most of his senior executives with friends and associates whose personal loyalties to him trumped their own business sense. Yet even as institutional resistance crumbled, the new chairman's plans for aggressive expansion couldn't help but spark unease among the few independent voices left on the board.

Driving under Inception

You may have woken up this morning wondering if yesterday was a dream. Were those folks at Popup Chinese actually crazy enough to promise a full week of Chinese lessons based around the movie Inception? Can they deliver the goods without stooping to baseless parody around day five? And will I survive with my sanity intact?

Fortunately for Chinese-speaking film-lovers worldwide, the answers to these questions are a decisive yes, no and maybe. If you're learning mandarin, enjoyed Inception as much as we did, and are hovering somewhere around the intermediate level, join us for a Chinese podcast that is more fun than driving a van off a bridge. Not only will we bring you vocabulary from the film, but Echo will also share some online Chinese gossip, revealing why Leonardo Dicaprio is bringing back collective memories of Jiang Zemin....

The Apprentice

The Apprentice may be the smartest show on television. Not only is it a brilliant exercise in corporate branding, but it's an unbeatable emotional outlet for anyone who's ever had cause to deal with the real estate market. What's not to love about seeing sixteen aspiring developers backstab each other for work, with one getting canned at the end of each episode? And that's without even mentioning the unusual animal tricks which keep the show fresh week after week.

If you're an Intermediate student of the Chinese language, this lesson is for you. It focuses on two different ways to say "especially" in Chinese: 尤其 and 格外. The rules are simple: place 尤其 before the subject of a sentence or its main verb, depending on which you wish to emphasize. 格外 is conversely placed before adjectives. This is a pretty big difference, but many people miss it. Good luck!

Get Off My Lawn

The once tidy house on the corner of Nathan and Barker Street had grown dilapitated over the years. Its unkempt lawn was now overgrown with weeds and strewn with debris, while the house itself seemed to have settled back into the shadows, its bright green shutters long ago darkened to the color of the slate-gray yard. Could there be any surprise that - in the eyes of the neighborhood children - this was a malevolent place guarded by a malevolent phantom?

It is no secret that our Popup Towers facility includes various traps intended to dissuade careless children from stumbling too close to our production facilities. That said, we know that not all of you are as lucky as us and some may have occasion to deal with the curious offspring of prolific neighbours from time to time. And that's where this lesson comes in. Yelling at them to get off your lawn may not make a lot of sense in a country where grass is a rare, mystical creature, but if you put some emotion into it the sentiment should carry through. Good luck!

An End to the Feeding Frenzy

Trying to dump someone? As it turns out, muttering "thank you" and "goodbye" repeatedly isn't terribly effective, which is why our Intermediate lesson for today teaches how to sever relations with more dramatic force. You may not want to practice this Chinese on your significant other, but there's no reason not to try it on distant relatives and third-tier friends.

Golden Monkey Throat Lozenges, Part II

You may have heard the slanderous rumours about our brand circulated by that other Golden Monkey pharmaceutical company. Don't believe the lies! Golden Monkey Throat Lozenges offer soothing relief from a range of symptoms with minimal side effects and a great orange taste. If you are suffering from any number of ailments or body image problems, call our telephone hotline and get medical relief with next-day delivery!

The old-timers among you may remember our first part to the world-famous Golden Monkey saga. That podcast dates back almost two years now, but is as great-tasting today as it has even been. So if you're learning Chinese and like this podcast, be sure to check it out too.

Harry Potter in Chinese

And as the implications of his actions sank in, the boy wizard plunged into a paroxysm of self-doubt. Harry may not have started the fight, but he had ended it decisively. Seconds earlier, the burst of flame from his wand had exploded mid-air, incinerating the cult leader where he stood while throwing the rest of his followers back against the wall with bone-crushing force. "What have I become," Harry wept as his eyes swept over the carnage, the full weight of death at last upon the boy.

And it was then that Dumbledore emerged from the shadows. "It is true that blood will have blood," the old man sighed, "and we must be vigilant lest we become too much like those whose forces we oppose." The professor paused to let his words sink in. He then placed a comforting hand on Harry's shoulder and helped the boy to his feet. "But splittists are an insidious threat to the sanctity of a harmonious state and it was fitting for you to treat them harshly."

A Life of Science

Doctor Lu surveyed his workplace with a smile. Four months ago the prominent Chinese scientist had relocated to a world-famous university in southern California. And although it had taken him a few weeks to adjust to the rhythm of life in America, the professor had settled in quite well. There were still days he missed the bustle of life in Nanjing, but the United States had benefits China could still not offer, not the least of which was the new state-of-the-art bioinformatics laboratory his department chair had used to lure him across the Pacific.

All in all, between his new research center and his exceptionally talented graduate students, the worst Professor Lu could say about his new position was the complex approval process required for even the most transparently harmless biochemical research. Fortunately, given that his lab bordered the edge of campus, this extra layer of administrative scrutiny had yet to frustrate him. And as long as he continued to publish and draw the department new grant money, his life promised to be as tranquil and productive as any man of science could reasonably expect.

Trapped in a Sea Cave

Did I ever tell you about the time I was trapped in that sea cave? In less than ten minutes we went from collecting shells in shallow tidal pools to sloughing through waist-deep water as the tide came in. It was amazing how little it took to make everything wrong.

And to be honest, there was a moment when I didn't think any of us would make it out alive. The currents had swollen so much it was getting hard to even keep my footing. But it was just then - right at that moment of despair - that I had what I know now is an epiphany. Because I suddenly realized what it really means to be human and why we're all here, and that's why I invited you out, because I think it's important to share....

International Schools in China

It was strange that the headmaster had arranged their tour for the weekend. While it hadn't struck Monica as odd previously, now that they were walking through campus, the choice of days seemed peculiar. For despite the fact it was a sunny October afternoon, the school grounds were almost deserted. Save for the occasional schoolboy slouching home in the distance, there was nothing to be seen suggesting she and her husband were touring the most renowned international school in Beijing. Or any other school for that matter. And then they entered the buttery....

If you're living the expat life in China, you're doubtless familiar with the hordes of international schools scrambling over each other to educate your brood. Since you may not be intimately familiar with what a Chinese education involves, in this podcast we strip away the mystery and show you how the education system really works in China. And in the process, we illuminate a subtle difference between two very similar words that intermediate Chinese learners mix up all the time. So listen up and we hope you enjoy the show.

Meet the Neighbors, Part II

The porcelain shattered on impact, scattering fragments of broken China across the entire dining room. Silence hung there for a moment, and then they were at each others throats, gouging and biting, bloody rivulets collecting on the oak flooring as the dispute passed beyond reason. And upstairs, the two children responsible for the carnage sat cowed in terror, shame and guilt.

We may be taking a bit of dramatic license with our introduction, but tensions definitely rise a notch in this sequel to our last lesson on how to be a good neighbor. Our dialogue here is also a bit easier, being wickedly fast, but also mostly review. So listen in and see how much you understand. And when you're done be sure to get your feedback to us by writing echo@popupchinese.com anytime.

Meet the Neighbors, Part I

This is the sort of lesson that makes Absolute Beginners to the Chinese language cry. If you're an Intermediate student or parent, though, we think you'll enjoy our practical approach to language learning. And that's because our dialogue today offers some very direct advice on how to solve one of the central problems married couples face: finding a safe place to park the kids when they want to spend a few days alone.

And what better solution but neighbors? If you've got to put up with living next door to them, you might as well learn to impose on occasion. In this lesson we'll show you how to compliment your new neighbors in their own language, as a prelude to asking them to take care of your brood. We're sure they'll be too polite to say no, especially when you start tossing out some of the platitudes we introduce in this lesson. So stop procrastinating and get listening: your next weekend retreat in Bali may depend upon this stuff.

A Late Night in the Studio

We usually hold our Chinese recording sessions on Wednesday evenings. Most of them go pretty smoothly, and even accounting for 9527's periodic laughter flame-outs, recording times have tended downwards over the last year or so. That said, there are always exceptions to a trend and this lesson is all about one of them. We started recording this lesson at seven o'clock in the evening and didn't finish until nearly midnight. Listen up and you'll know who to blame.

Warning: there's some Chinese profanity in this lesson. This language isn't considered particularly strong by northern standards, but you'll raise eyebrows if you actively use this stuff further south. So use this language at your discretion, and don't be afraid to mutter.

The Family Secret

It had taken months of therapy for the patient to share her innermost secret. "You were right to come here," the psychiatrist said as they shared the breakthrough, "and I long suspected that your problem was related to your father." The doctor then paused, pen frozen in mid-air above a black leather notebook. "Of course," she added at last, "at least your case isn't as bad as that of my last patient...."

Are you an intermediate mandarin student? Join us in this podcast for a Chinese lesson all about the shameful secrets that can break family relationships. In addition to a fast-moving and entertaining dialogue, this lesson also teaches the difference between two conjunctions with almost identical meanings, but slightly different emotional weights. Learn to use them correctly and you'll impress the hell out of your psychiatrist, we promise.

The Young Inventor, Part II

After your son has pumped five hundred volts of current through your chest, it may be time for a little parental intervention. Is it really necessary for him to replicate the work of Nicolas Tesla in your family basement? As our own parents repeatedly reminded us growing up: high-energy experiments belong in the classroom, not the bedroom.

If you're an intermediate student in the Chinese language, join us for this lesson in the mysteries of science. In addition to a pro-science dialogue dedicated to Nicolas Tesla, this lesson reviews common units of measurement and how to use them in Chinese sentences. This is critical vocabulary to know regardless of whether you are conducting wireless electricity, building secret underwater laboratories, or simply reanimating dead lab assistants.

The Young Inventor

Our forays into the hard sciences have been mercifully brief to date, a phenomenon caused partly by fear and partly by memories of high school chemistry class. In today's Chinese lesson we delve more deeply into the natural sciences though with a Chinese lesson about key warning signs that someone you love may be considering a career in them. In addition to some life-saving tips on intervening, we also teach a number of Chinese words that are useful for describing industrial accidents.

The dialogue in this lesson is a bit on the easier side of our other Intermediate materials, but our vocabulary and sample sentences make up for this in difficulty. If you're an intermediate learner, we think you'll enjoy this podcast. So join us and be sure to let us know what you think by leaving a comment on the site or writing Echo anytime at echo@popupchinese.com.

Great Actors of the Twentieth Century

When the definitive history of twentieth century cinema is written, there will be a few actors and actresses we believe will stand out from their peers as titans of the screen and stage. Yet while the talents of such stars as Gregory Peck, Marlon Brando, Meryl Streep and others have brought them well-deserved recognition, there remain a legion of working actors and actresses who continue to shine in lesser roles. Our podcast today is a tribute to one such actor.

So join us in this podcast as we pay a humble Popup Chinese tribute to one of the most underrated thespians of our generation. You may not have noticed the delicate emotional shading he adds to otherwise straightforward roles. Once we point him out though, we think you will join us in praise. So strap on your iPod and listen in as we spill the beans on our celebrity pick, and then share a Chinese grammar point or two.

A Taste of the Whip

When Hegel wrote that history repeats itself, perhaps he was thinking of our seemingly infinite capacity to rationalize cruelty in the pursuit of power and wealth. For are not the pages of history filled with corporations which have sacrificed workplace health and safety on the altar of progress, throwing away human lives like so much chaff in an unquenchable drive for power and market share?

While we may be a small company here at Popup Chinese, we cannot help but look upon this recurring pattern of industrial tyranny and ask the obvious question: why not us? And as Brendan and Echo share in this podcast, we're willing to let Google take the high road. Our path to glory involves conscripting our staff into forced labor in the construction of a giant monument to the glory of our cause and long-term tourist revenue. Perhaps some of this language will be useful to you too.